i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
