I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
