I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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