I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize