I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize