"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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