loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
