Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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