I skipped work to stalk him.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just puked most of my soul out..
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
