we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
