Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize