K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
