So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
