Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
