So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
