You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just gargled with NyQuil
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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