if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
