My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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