We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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