You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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