is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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