We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
