I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
