Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
