we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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