Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
