TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
