worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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