Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize