You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
