whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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