Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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