Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I'm both gender and math confused
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize