fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
