you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
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