just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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