are you so shy because you have an std?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
