Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
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