hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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