Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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