Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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