is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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