It's like a parade of train wrecks.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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