Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
