I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
