they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
