there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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