we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
