oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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