Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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