I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
