So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
