I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize