So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
