Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
