Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Randomize
