my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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