New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize