and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
