Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
