Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Randomize
