After last night, I could never be a politician.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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