I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
