all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
