Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
