Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
