I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
