I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize