I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
