I haven't been this sober since birth.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
