She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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