There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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