bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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